Finding Time and Creating Balance

Who couldn't use a little more time to do what you love to do and live a life with a lot more balance between work, play, being mommy, wife, friend, and chauffeur? Based on the overwhelming majority of people's comments and emails that I receive, I'd say most of us could use more time and balance. So if we all need it, how will we ever find it? Is it too much to ask for a little downtime, girl time, scrap time, and alone time? I think not, and here are three solutions that have worked to create that time for me!

Cleaning Messes
It really is amazing how much time messes steal from our lives. From the disorganized entryway to the cluttered cupboards, messes rob us of time that could be spent doing things we love. Here's one solution that I found.

1. Make a list of all your messes. It may feel overwhelming, but overcoming denial is the first step to recovery. My list had 64 messes when I first created it. Two months later, I'm down to 40. It's all about progress and forward motion.
2. Organize your list of messes by room, importance, or difficulty level. I chose to list them by room (living room, office, garage, car, etc.)
3. Decide which messes you can handle on your own and which you need help with. Label them S for self and O for others.
4. Begin wherever you feel most comfortable. If you want to start with the easy ones so that you can feel a sense of accomplishment, go for it (that's what I did!). If you want to start with the ones that you can have others do or help you with, start making phone calls and arrangements.
5. The key is to make progress. Start ticking those messes off your list. Get help. Get accountability and start to clear out the space in your life for doing what you really want to do! (Check out one of my before and after messes below!)

BEFORE                              

AFTER

Take Back Your Time
Many women, wives, and moms spend a good portion of their time and energy doing what they think they should or ought to do, rather than what they really want to do. Now, some of that is necessary. We may not want to do the laundry, but unless you can afford a live-in housekeeper or weekly maid, then that might not be an option for you. However, there are certain things that can be eliminated, streamlined, or delegated. Let's see how:

1. Create a chart of your roles and areas of responsibility. It might look like this: Wife, Mother, Employee, Housekeeper, Friend, Sister.
2. Under each role or area of responsiblity, list the tasks that accompany that role. For instance, under housekeeper, you might have laundry, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, etc.
3. DO NOT let this list overwhelm you. You're probably already overwhelmed, so let this list validate you. It validates that you are needed, that you are valuable, that you are legitimately busy and overwhelmed.
4. When your list is done, take a break. Make yourself a cup of tea or go grab a cup of coffee from Starbuck's. Whatever you need to do, give yourself at least 5 minutes to acknowledge all that you do on a daily and sometimes hourly basis to make the lives and worlds of those around you more happy, blessed, and harmonious. You matter!
5. Once you've acknowledged your contribution, look through your list objectively. Try to identify one activity in each area of responsibility that could be removed, delegated, or simplified.
   
   • For a delegating example: under laundry--have each member of your family do their own laundry or help with their laundry by sorting clothes, transferring them, or folding and putting them away. It may require training, but offering little rewards can go a long way.
   • An example of simplifying for me is making 12 dinners at a place like Dream Dinners or Dinner My Way. I still get the benefit of home cooked meals for my family and I get 12 dinners done in one hour. This drastically reduces my grocery shopping and cooking time each month. (Check out my photos from a girls night out at Dinner My Way!)   

Schedule Time for YOU!
The last tip of the day is scheduling time for you. Whether it's scrapbooking, writing, knitting, exercising or resting, put it in your calendar and keep the appointment. Even if it's just once a week or even once a month, having something that you know you can count on to rejuvenate and inspire you is vital. If you crave girl time, set a standing coffee date with a girlfriend. You probably both could use the time together and keep each other accountable. If you really want to get back to scrapbooking, call you local scrapbook store and find out when their crops are. Most stores have a weekly or bi-weekly crop that you can join. I go to my lss every two weeks for Midnight Madness on a Friday night. I get scrapbooks complete, spend time with girlfriends, and get a break from the daily routine of my life. Whatever it is that you crave and know you need to keep yourself sane, do it. Make it happen. While others may complain or resist at first, do it anyway. They'll begin to see a happier woman, wife and mom when you start to nurture your self!

You really can make change. Begin small...make baby steps...get help! If you'd like more tips, send me a note, join our free e-zine and start doing the things you love! I'm here for you, let me know how I can help!

technorati tags: balance, scrapbooking, girltime, DinnerMyWay, organizing

Comments

[Stephanie Quilao]

Thanks for the comment on my blog, Back in Skinny Jeans. I loved your post and thought my readers would enjoy it as well because I believe that cleaning up the clutter and messes (physically and symbolically) in our lives will help us get to our dreams and desires faster, and for many of us having balance in life is one of those dreams. So great tips!... I used to scrapbook and make cards myself, and was thinking of getting back into it. You've inspired me to get on the ball ;-)

[Kelly]

What a wonderful list post! I took away many helpful suggestions.

[Razib Ahmed]

"Make a list of all your messes. It may feel overwhelming, but overcoming denial is the first step to recovery. My list has 64 messes when I first created it. Two months later, I'm down to 40. It's all about progress and forward motion."
Great. I liked your list a lot and I wish that you get one of the prizes. I think that this article will be helpful for everyone. You talked like an expert.

[Hunter]

My family goes to Dinner MyWay in Sacramento and we love it! It is such a time saver! I recommend Dinner MyWay to all of my friends!

[Laurie]

Good advice. Now I need to go make my list of messes. It's gonna be a big one. I'll start with the kitchen. It's been under construction since the first week of March. The clutter is getting old.

[Shadows Edge]

Great post - I need to apply some of your points myself! We talked about the importance of balance in relation to creativity in a post (http://www.yourcre8tivity.com/2006/08/15/5-ways-to-block-your-creativity/ )yesterday.

[George]

Great entry to the blogging project. I sent it to my wife, because I really list the tip on removing clutter/cleaning messes.

Thanks for sharing that tip!

[Graham English]

Ahhh... balance. How I love you. :)

Thanks for the tips!

[Jersey Girl]

I started a mess list but it overwhelmed me! Maybe I'll try again seeing your progress. :)

[MamaDuck]

I love it, I need more organization in my life as well. Our list is up if you’d like to look - http://lilduckduck.com/ducky-moments-in-time/240

Have a great day!

[Jennifer, Snapshot]

You are right about the clutter. This is a great idea.

[Jennifer, Snapshot]

You are right about the clutter. This is a great idea.

[Pass the Torch]

Great tips! I really must get better organized.

Maybe when the kids get back in school...

[Debbie]

Wonderful post. While writing lists and setting up organization is a strong suit in me, I procrastanate too much. So my lists just gather dust. I need to push me more to get things on my list off! This posting is full of some very good ways to start to control your time. Heres hoping you and yours have a wonderful Sunday!

[five]

This blog is so great. Now, if I could just find the time to make that list....lol.

[Rebecca Grabill]

Great photo of an organized desk!

[Janice]

Those are great tips! I need to schedule in some scrapping time!

I agree about tackling the messes. My messes were stressing me out so I started something called Tackle It Tuesday on my blog to tackle one prject each week. We are on week 11 now and my house is so much more under control and I feel so much better! I love it because it makes housework blogable!!

[eph2810]

I am back (hehe) 'Dream Dinners' has soon two locations in my neighborhood :)....

[eph2810]

What wonderful tips to find some 'me' time. Thank you for sharing. Too bad that the one dinner place is too far away for me to prepare those meals. That would be something. One hour for preparing 12 meals sound like a dream to me.

[Heather]

I keeping trying to join the e-zine but it gets stuck loading a slideshow =(
Had a great time at Dinner My Way!!

[Cami]

What a great entry. There are some very helpful suggestions here that I plan on running with. Maybe I can actually find time and create balance :)